Drugs

Now, before you say - which ones or she really does'nt need them. Recreationally, I do not indulge but I use to. I did'nt mind a pipe or two of wacky baccy but I digress.

This is really an update on the proceedings that are proceeding as I type.
I am now on the other drugs which I will take from day 5 to 9 ( I am on day 7) and then we are suppose to do 'special cuddles' (excuse the tweeness) on day 12 (which is Thursday), day 14 (saturday) and day 16 (monday). When I took these drugs before I was the bitch goddess from the 49th levels of hell - I had never witnessed myself as that person before - hormones are truly fantastic chemicals. This time?? truthfully, I'm wondering if they are working because I am just my normal self...so what is different (bear with me)

1. I am older
2. I am not working or at Uni
3. I want this to happen in positive frame of mind
4. I am not stressed with what might NOT happen
5. Mr Grump is on holidays and therefore Mr Pleasant
6. We don't live in suburbia in Sydney
7. Lifestyle is so far removed from what it was previously.

On days 21 and 28 (saturdays) I will need to have blood tests, as per described by the specialist to see if anything has happened (I am working in the now and not the future - god, an affirmation if I ever read one!). So, that's it really.

Diary for the next few days

Travel plans for the Big Smoke.
Day One (Sunday): Travel to Grandma B's at Blaxland - 3.5hr drive.
Day Two (Monday): Drive to nearest train station and go into the city (alight train at St James station walk to art gallery, pay entry fee, see Art of Islam exhibition, leave gallery, walk to circular quay through Botan'l Grdns, lunch, walk up George Street, visit Haigh's Chocolates for sister and selves, walk towards Town Hall, go to Myer etc, catch train home back to Grandma's B's.
Day Three ( Tuesday): Visit specialist native plant nursery for stock-ups, go to Richmond or Windsor for Lunch, back to Blaxland via other interesting places (norman lindsay gallery??)
Day Four (Wednesday): Travel to Smithfield to the Dutch shop for netherlandish food supplies (I have lists)
Day Five (Thursday): Travel home via Mudgee??

News

I have been made the Shire of Radburne's Herald. HUZZAH.
It's going to be a bit more interesting and lot more involved than the old position and I think personally a lot more responsibility. I am looking forward to it.
I am so happy that I was chosen because it means that others believe in me and the long term future of the group with me in it.
Ok, enough of the the ego trip, back to regular viewing.
Hi to Miss Wu - lurking there reading my blog!
See you soon and good luck for exams!

It's hard being a woman or ????

well, this what it feels like to be a woman? crampy, cravings and etc..
It started on Sunday - yay!
Feels weird after almost 5 months of not having anything. Drug induced or not, psychologically it does feel different - is this what it feels like to have 'normal' hormones? gosh, I don't mind it at all. Seeing the doc on Wednesday - next step. Blood test, more drugs, get serious-er time.

Besides that I have cut out a new caftan and accoutrement(sp?) and having super fun with Mr Grump whilst he is on Hols so therefore Mr Pleasant.
Next weekend off to Sydney to visit Grandma and the Art of Islam exhibit and probably have dinner with Miss Wu.

If I could be anywhere today it would be...

In a castle. Discovering cobweb encrusted secret passage ways and dusty old libraries. Drinking brandy in the drawing room reading Penny dreadful romances in front of roaring fire and eating smoked salmon blinis before dinner with my Russian lover.

The above castle is for sale in the Ukraine..

This time it was Katrijn!

What Pirates of the Caribbean character are you? Your Result: Hector Barbossa You are Captain Hector Barbossa! You are so evil that even hell its self spat you back out! In other words, you are one evil dude! And you really like apples.
Jack Sparrow
Will Turner
Elizabeth Swann
James Norrington
Tia Dalma
Cutler Beckett
Davy Jones
What Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

I don't really like apples.

Am I being silly?

I want to adopt another animal. As if 3 geese, 3 dogs, numerous chooks and a mad cat and a wacky sheep isn't enough. I would like another cat - its nice having Maddie but she isn't exactly affectionate. You would be lucky if you got sniffed and then bitten.

I enjoy having cats around, aloof and independent as they are. But at least they are entertaining when they think you are not looking..

Here are some choices from the RSPCA:

This little one is just too cute and cheeky. My favourite so far.
This reminds me of my ginger boy. I am a sucker for Ginger Toms.

This one is called Leo. I think he would grow up to be a little lion too. There is something elegant about him.

I's gots me a job

I have achieved another step to becoming a teacher. I have become a tutor - I met my first client today with her mum. She is a shy but delightful 11 year old that has not been supported enough in Literacy in mainstream Primary education. We will be working on her spelling, writing skills and comprehension. I will endeavour to make it interesting, relevant and flexible to her needs.
I'm excited by this prospect and another good thing is that it seems that it was meant to be with the opportunity presenting itself and then before I knew it I was meeting the client today and another bonus its once a week (great for Uni/Study schedule) and its local (no petrol costs!).

Other news

Remember the teapot?- Credit for performance!


On the first lot of drugs..
1. 30mg of Provera every day for 10 days (its almost 7 days already)
2. Been having L.S.A on the rice flakes, yoghurt and fruit combo to help with phyto-estrogens
3. Feeling slight mittelschmerz from both ovaries - good sign.
4. Not much hormonal fluctuations with mood, cravings etc - I think holidays are helping.

Next step
Period
Blood Test
Clomiphene to aid ovulation
Start charting etc.
Breath.

Upon Ponderance of Life

Rather obtuse title, methinks. Pondering many things amongst those, the power one gives to negativity by allowing it to manifest in conversation over and over. Recently, this has been occuring in the group of like-minded individuals and with 2 members leaving (with relief being felt all round) and a general bouncier mood being felt for about month now we just have experienced more negativity with back handed snide remarks being reported to some powers that be....so, how do I feel?

Disappointed at the lack of maturity and need for negative sooky behaviour, sadden at what it does to our 'leader' for she does what she does because she has passion, commitment and time for others, and pondering what else has been said that could potentially hurt people's perception of our group - humble as we are?

On the bright side, we are stronger, bigger, and delighted with progress we are making and love doing what we are doing. Can't wait until August and I can't wait until Saturday for A&S and bodice fitting and patterning so I can remake my florentine with a period fitted bodice. Excited.

On other news - overnight we had 18mm in the gauge and a couple mm today- YAY

If I could be anywhere today it would be...

Cook Islands..

its tropical, warm, friendly, exotic, no distractions.

Just him and me

sipping coconut juice and kava

eating pork and fish

swimming, eating, meeting

That's where I'd be today..

Where would you be?

Out of crap comes goodness

Some good news today, after the crap I had to put up with in doing the group assignment - we got a DISTINCTION- big huzzah on that.


On other news, saw the 'ferty' specialist last week and we are seeing him again this week for an update with results of blood test and 'swimmers' test. Hopefully, it will be straightforward and just the one drug to help ovulation again, if not another drug will come and play and then it will injections if those 2 are not successful.


Had some news from the group - H & K have resigned officer's posts and will not participating in the group due to personal reasons etc..I hope they have fun doing whatever they will be doing and we find some new officers so we can proceed with the becoming a Shire.

Funny day today, a quick trip to Dubs this morning to do a courier run for the little swimmers - I was hoping all the way up I wasn't pulled over by the cops or had a car accident - how would I explain what was in my pocket...bears not thinking about.

Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do..

Sunday was a fantastic day with the clan du mareschal visiting Sydney for the unveiling of the Welcome wall at the Maritime museum http://www.anmm.gov.au/site/page.cfm
Gran B, Mum and Dad P, Unk J, Super K and Miss Wu and myself (Mr Grump needed time at home) saw the ceremony, had lunch at Darling Harbour, (Gran B and I had Ice Cream!) then came back and checked out the wall with the family names on it. I think we may also be on the website - we did get our piccies taken...and KAMAHL was there.

While we were walking around Gran B and I stood behind Kamahl - he is a beautifully dressed man with impeccable grooming and lovely basso voice..
Decided to get more immigrant members on the wall eventually when we are rich again. I have 3 on Dad J's side of the family, and on Mum's well - you can take it back to that convict who stole a shirt. On Mr Grump's side 3 members - 2 from Scotland, 1 from Austria.

Green, Green Grass and other news

After the 50+ mm of rain last week and a follow-up of 2.5 on Monday night, it has become a verdant,lush and fecund looking land again. All we need is frolicsome lambs with wiggly tails, calves at udder and piglets wallowing in mud. It has delighted my eyes for almost a week and has soothed a very frazzled, tired, emotionally spent mind.

I am now on Jolidays for 10 weeks and in that time I hope to start the 'ferty' treatment - Specialist visit tomorrow. I had my bloodtest yesterday and will find out results Monday. After 5 years of denial and hoping for the best naturally its time to try again with assistance - we are different people after 5 years and I don't think we will be repeating the same mistakes from that time...hopefully no she-devil from the pits of hormone hell.

It won't be easy but biology does'nt come into it anymore - it's not the biologically clock ticking, I've contemplated, I've bargained, I pleaded and now, I just have to do it, build a bridge, leave the pity party and be pro-active - I did it with going to Uni and I can do it now I have a support structure that is amazing, my family, Mr Grump and my SCA pals and othe friends and I am doing what my destiny is telling me to do - follow the path and finding my bliss -be a teacher, be a mother, be a supporter of living.

Rosella in the grass - a bit out of focus but still a delight to have in the front yard!

What this Bachelor of Education student does for fun!

Ok, I give up I am never going to post about our feast or demo - but just briefly - fun, was made a lady, everyone was awesome at the feast and demo, SCA people are generally great people, my family was there except Miss Wu and Miss K (sad about that). Wore my new caftan and my blue velveteen and bodice get-up - felt like a rool girl.

Onto other stuff - as part of English curriculum 2 in the 3rd of year of B.Ed(Primary) we are doing presentations of stories or poetry - I have decided to do The Ning Nang Nong by Spike Milligan - a true master of the ridiculous and devilishly clever and silly at the same time. For this presentation, one has the OPTION of using props, the following photo are what I have made. Also excellent for Kindergarten kids as it teaches them the sound 'ng' - which can be difficult for some children to actually sound out and hear when pronouncing words - to do with palate development and hearing development.

It sits on my head as I quote the poem to the class...

The little square near the lid is a tea-bag label.

What does'nt kill us only makes us crazy!

This is still not the post about how feast or demo from 2 weeks ago. Instead I am contemplating on events that have recently happened at home and at that other institute of bedlam.
Several things have happened recently that have made me doubt my ability and sort of hurt my usual bouncy self-confidence. One of these events has been recorded in the blog and the other has only come to light recently. That happening is the group project that we are doing for a subject at the Institut de Bedlam - what has arisen out of the experience is this:
1. Some people should have real-life experiences before being placed in a group situation.
2. Personalities that have had autonomous types of real life experiences should not work together
3. Approaching the lecturer is the last measure IE: you don't 'dob' in a group member until you have sorted the stupid situation out first.
4. It is a crap time of year for group work with 3 other major assignments due.
5. IT IS CRAP - I USUALLY LIKE WORKING IN GROUPS!

6. Email is a form of communication - use it and inform members of the group that you are having a meeting.

I have decided to be philosophical about the whole thing and get it over and done with. I feel however, for a friend that is in the group that he has been made the go-between and the only person that is truly communicating with me.

Onto other things...having lost Tasha this week has made me contemplate a few things - one of them being the length of time you have with a pet is ephemeral.

However, the time you have in a committed relationship is infinite in possiblities. It all depends on who you want to be in the relationship - a victim, a individual, a combined force, or a person committed in a relationship for the sake of a relationship.

I have found that what works for me is individuality and being a combined force. At times Mr Grump is the stronger one in the relationship and sometimes I am - that has come with practise and lot of patience - which I lack in boatloads...

Coping Strategies - Scotch and a good lie down

I wish it was that simple.
Mr Grump and I have made the decision
Tasha has a tumour which is causing too much pain and suffering
Tomorrow - don't ask how I will be..

Still feel like shite

Well, its been 2 days since my last entry and I still am wondering what the fuck is going on. After my entry on tuesday, I had another blow to the solar plexus after another - one quite major with one that is quite temporary and will sort itself out in the next couple of days.

The major one is that I will not be doing Practicum this semester - which means I will not be teaching or doing the research assignment that is required. Now, Practicum is the only thing that makes the whole Uni experience worth it and makes sense of the whole Uni theory bullshit that is going on the rest of the time.

So, what will I be doing?? hmm, let's see - 10 weeks of stuff of nothing..Because of the lecturer who shall remain nameless because to name them is to give power to them and to protect me from slander - ain't that stoopid. Last year's illness played havoc with Uni and assignments and the appeal to the powers that be were supposed to fix it but it did'nt work so I have to repeat a subject next semester whilst doing 2 core subjects, 2 electives plus this subject again and then hopefully do my Practicum from this semester next semester towards the end of the year - its enough to make one want to jump, alcoholic or join a nunnery for a simple life except I could'nt live without decent food or sex.

and the other matter is about an assignment that was'nt received in full by a lecturer before the holidays and we only just found out about it on Tuesday - but they are being understanding and allowing me to find the info and email it through.

And on other news, Tasha is in hospital for suspected virus-y/flu-y/infection of some sort of mysterious cat like qualities - just what we need more money going out the door...

I will post SCA stuff up soon once things have calmed down...I do want to upload a photo of the new caftan,under-caftan and shalwar that I will be making..

I am going to start on my new device very soon so that when I do renew my membership I'll register the device, my name and everything will be kosher for my A.o.A ...

I will also post my thoughts on our feast which happened on last Saturday.

Poaching Again - I'll get a reputation!

http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/?60193

is it true - let me know.


On other news, another shitty day at Uni with receiving a crappy mark for what I had thought was a reasonable effort at assignment that I had quite enjoyed with the use of modern Australian literature that was image based with no written words to guide the reader. However, my lecturer - my one-eyebrowed baby (simpsons reference) let me down again and I received a mark that clearly reflects her need to feel superior and obsessive about what she perceives to be right and correct her little lecture-y world.
Other students have received crap marks as well and questioned their want to teach and their need to feel validated - which I know you should not NEED seek validation but find in yourself - but after 3 and a bit years of doing this f'n course - we all need to feel supported somehow especially when the University espouses this we're here for you and we'll get through no matter what- so our stats look good.
Its enough b.s for me to start looking for something else to do - like earn money and live in the real world unlike the lecturer I have.
I even took ownership of the word C..T today and used it to release some tension - it felt good.
I shall use it randomly when the situation warrants it.

Thanks Mayela - I've been poaching again

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I did another one

I keep finding them through SCA blogs - its a addiction methinks.

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Artistic Nerd Whether it's painting, sewing, drawing, arts and crafts; or just splashing paint onto a canvas and calling it art; you mostly fit this description. Lots of people envy the artists, but be humble and keep working on it. There is a shortage of true artists today who actually contribute anything to society.
Literature Nerd
Drama Nerd
Social Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Musician
Anime Nerd
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